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er mom’s clothes until well into high school。 She’d even worn this very dress and imagined walking down the aisle at St。 Patrick’s; with Nate waiting for her at the altar。
“You would look beautiful in it;” Nate mused。 In the picture in his mind; he substituted Jenny’s sloping curves for Blair’s sharp collarbones。
Blair smiled despite herself。 “I always thought I’d marry you wearing this;” she said honestly。 “We’d get married in St。 Patrick’s…。”
“And honeymoon in Capri;” Nate finished。
Blair laughed。 It was genuine; and the sound surprised her。 “We were so young。”
“I’m glad you and Chuck are happy;” Nate said softly。 He remembered the awful; wild look in Blair’s eyes last year at that hotel room; when he’d accidentally ruined her relationship with her Yale boyfriend。 She deserved to be with a good guy。
“I hope you’re happy too;” she offered。 She knew Deep Springs had done a lot for both Nate and Chuck; but something in Nate’s green eyes still looked lost。 It made her want to smooth his hair and hold his hand and climb back under the sheets on the sleigh bed and—
“I should go find Chuck; actually;” Blair said; standing up abruptly。
“Good;” Nate said quickly。 “I mean; I have to take a shower。”
Blair padded downstairs; wondering why her brain had to be such a dangerous place。 What was she doing fantasizing about Nate when she had Chuck—Chuck; who made her feel like a princess; and never; ever fucked with her—just down the hall? It was infuriating。
Blair paused at the top of the stairs as she heard Serena’s voice mingling with the twins’ high…pitched; French…accented lisps。 What the fuck? She descended into the kitchen。 Serena sat with the twins at the large round wooden kitchen table。 A jar of peanut butter; a jar of jelly; and a red box of graham crackers sat in front of them。
“Blair!” Serena called joyfully。
“Bear!” Both twins yelled; their faces sticky with peanut butter。
“Hi;” Blair said stiffly。
“Did you sleep well?” Serena asked hopefully。 She hadn’t slept well herself; and had spent most of the night listening to Dan’s even breath and feeling guilty about intruding on Blair。 Finally; she’d gotten up early and had been playing with the twins for hours。
Blair stalked over to the coffeemaker on the counter; ignoring Serena’s inane question。 The stainless steel carafe was empty and cold。 “No coffee?”
“The twins wanted tea this morning。” Serena shrugged playfully。
“Ha;” Blair replied sarcastically; and pulled a bag of espresso beans from the freezer。 She poured the bag into a coffee grinder and noisily ground the coffee; not caring if anyone was still asleep。 It was time to wake up and get the fuck out。
Good morning; sunshine!
Blair finished grinding the coffee and the electronic whir gave way to Serena’s patient voice。
“Okay; Pauline; now crumble the graham crackers really hard;” Serena told the little girl。 Pauline’s face was scrunched in concentration as she squeezed a Ziploc bag filled with graham cracker squares。
“What can I do?” Pierre piped up; his expression full of naked adoration。
Blair turned; softening。 She knew exactly what had to be done next。 She and Serena had invented peanut butter pie—peanut butter and jelly mixed together on top of crushed graham crackers—when they were in first grade。 Sometimes; they’d add marshmallows; which their nannies hated because it made their hands impossibly sticky。
“You can take the peanut butter and jelly and mix them;” Blair said; searching the cabinets for a mixing bowl and setting it in front of Pierre。 “I can’t believe we used to eat this;” she said to Serena; shaking her head。
“Do you have marshmallows?” Serena asked hopefully; reading her mind。
“Probably。” Blair rummaged through the cupboards; finally finding a bag。 She tossed it over to Serena and leaned against the counter; appraising her。 Serena’s golden blond hair had grown even longer in the last year; and was badly in need of a cut; but somehow managed to still look glamorous。 Her navy blue eyes had slight laugh lines around the edges。 She looked just a little bit older than she had a year ago; or maybe just more grown…up。 “So; you’re dating Dan Humphrey;” Blair said finally。
Serena nodded。 “Pretty weird; right?”
“Yeah;” Blair laughed。 It was sort of weird。 But Serena had always been unpredictable。 It was one of the things about her that Blair loved most。 It was also one of the things that had driven her crazy。
“You’re dating Chuck;” Serena countered。
“I know!” Blair laughed。 The blue teapot on the stove whistled and Blair poured the steamy water into a French press。 “Do you want any coffee?” she asked。 It was the Blair Waldorf version of a peace offering。
“Is it ready?” Pierre and Pauline interrupted; slapping their sticky hands against the counter。
“Sure。” Serena gazed dubiously at the gooey mess in the pie pan。 “I don’t know how they should eat this。”
“Spoons?” Blair shrugged。 “As long as they stay in the kitchen; my dad won’t care。”
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